Jab we mate !!!

While it is interesting to note the mixed use of English and Hindi in modern Hinglish, it can lead to hilarious consequences – like it does when one attempts to read the title for “Jab We Meet” in Devanagiri (Hindi) script.

Notes on that historic Final of the inaugural 20:20 World Cup

The Awards ceremony was an anticlimax. One expected to see a majestic equivalent of the Lord’s balcony host the event. All we got was a bare stage and a balding gentleman to give the award away. Mahendra Singh Dhoni arrived to receive the trophy in a sleeveless banian. Man, Display some respect, that is the World Cup that you will receive.  Woe, it is the Gentleman’s game no more.

 

Shoaib Malik at the awards ceremony, “I would like to thank all the peoples of Pakistan  for their support  I would like to thanks all Muslims in whichever country for their support to Pakistan”.

 

Considering our jubilant mood, we Indians are willing to overlook the rather objectionable remark.

 

Shahid Afridi at the Awards Ceremony, “I would like to congratulate all the Indian nations…” . Duh ?

 

Sethu righta… ?

The UPA government has deservingly received all the flak for the affidavit on Sri Rama. Having said that the Government’s contention that the Sethu is not man-made has to be conceded. The Sethu was monkey-made with a little but significant contribution from the squirrels (remember what Grandma told about how the squirrels have 3 parallel lines running through their back).
The Sethu seems to have suddenly received religious importance. The question as to what religious and cultural significance the Sethu commands begs to be answered. Does one perform Pooja to the Sethu or visit it and offer ‘baguna’. Do people go in sea diving or snorkeling to pay tribute to the bridge that helped Rama cross the Palk Straits.
While religious, cultural and archaeological heritage needs to be preserved, one wonders whether a particular "monument" which was hitherto neglected develops religious value all of a sudden.
If the "monument" has no other cultural significance but for having been created for Rama’s use I do not see much harm in pulling part of it down to put through a canal ( assuming of course that the canal will bring in untold dividends in the area of shipping and the cost and time savings impact on our exports and imports and supply chain). Admittedly, the Sethu is unlikely to yield benefits akin to what the Canal yielded to Panama or the Suez to Egypt but someone in his right mind can be expected to have done his math.
Considering the economic impact on the Sri Lankan economy and the commercial implications on the Colombo port one might hazard a guess as to the likely promoters of the recent "Stop Sethu" agitation. IF this speculation is to be true, it gives re-birth to the charge of being under the influence of a foreign power, except this time it is neither Congress nor Sonia Gandhi.
The DMK has gone on record with its historical belief. The party which fields Periyar to masquerade atheism as rationalism and believes it is blasphemy (sic) to concede to history.
Let us face it. There are far too many points for the Ramayana not to be true.There are far too many temples littered all over the subcontinent right from Ayodhya in the North to Rameshwaram in the South which are evidence cast-in-stone to the story of Ramayana ( giving allowances for minor regional variations). It would be beyond the capacity of any man (x number of years back in evolutionary history) to have conceived of such a complex seamless story without any loose ends and then visit of each of the places and plant the temples as evidence.
The DMK’s man T R Baalu (the faithful follower of Karunanidhi) sees the Sethu as his chance to be immortalised in the Canal. A fair hope considering that there is little else that can be considered his legacy for all the 11 years that he has been a Union Minister. TR Baalu, the lucky MP from Chennai (South) – the constituency where Yours Truly is a registered voter - has been a Minister for 11 of the last 12 years under 4 Prime Ministers in 5 Governments.

Mohammed Haneef has offers to join politics and moviedom

Mohammed Haneef has offers to join politics and moviedom

 

*The New Times of New India reports on 30^th July 2007:

“Mohammed Haneef, the freed former suspected terrorist landed in Bangalore last night. With the flashbulbs that accompanied his arrival, were new offers.

 

The Samjawadi Party has invited Haneef to join the party and has offered him a Rajya Sabha seat. Meanwhile, competing for Haneef’s attention are the offers from the Telegu film industry. Says one director, ’I have the perfect storyline which fits Haneef to the T. ‘The wronged hero who had done no wrong’. The heroine too has been finalized. The duo would make an interesting couple - She too comes from a similar background - fresh from behind-the-bars. The songs sequence will be shot in awesome Australia and picturesque Portugal. The movie will be released simultaneously in the two countries apart from India and for the only the second time in recent history, in Pakistan.’

 

SIMply amazing, no ?

 

 

* psst…. This report posted on 29^th July 2007 is fictional (as on date on writing)

The Missed Call

The Missed Call

 

One of the ancillary phenomena that arose due to the mega phenomenon called Cellular Phone is the missed call. Yes, The Missed Call.

 

The uses to which the Caller ID based feature on a mobile phones is only restricted by the imagination of the users.

 

Friends and relatives, by arrangement, figure out who has got the most favorable Telephone Tariff Plan. This person is given a ‘missed call’ from others whom he calls back. Of course, there are those who give their folk a missed call, and the receiver calls back from a landline, on most occasions at the employers’ expense.

 

There is the clever set of people who use a missed call to convey binary information. How many of us have said or heard, “Give me a Missed Call once you reach home”. Some of us have used it to convey, “I am waiting outside your home. It is getting late for the movies.”

 

Did I miss the missed call that is meant to remind the receiver that he/she promised to call.

 

While a missed call does not generate any revenue nor cost the subscribers anything, it does have commercial implications. I understand that migrant Bihari workers transfer money to their families via the local moneylender through missed calls.

 

Like the ubiquitous mobile phone, the missed call too has its workplace utility. The missed call that is made to register the act of calling up. Translated that is supposed to mean “I called, but you did not answer the call. Check your Missed Call register for proof.” The objective is to disconnect the line at the first half ring, so that the phone does not alert its owner but just registers the call. The technique is popularly used when the boss asks to be called up over the weekend.

 

Back in college, one of the favorite sports during class hours was the ‘Missed Call Game’.

The guys would call each other in the classroom at random. The objective of the caller was to generate a “Missed Call” in the phone of the recipient rival. The objective of the recipient was to answer the call before it could become a missed call. The Casino type thrill was that the penalty paid in the game was instantaneous. The prepaid balance would drop immediately if the caller ‘lost’.

 

Considering that the number of cell phones per classroom was still in single digits then, it was an involved spectator sport with entire benches backing their representative. Now, I guess, it is possibly an evolved mass sport with several rule variation.

 

And then there is my personal favorite Missed Call that just means ‘I am thinking about you’. Often made late in the evening, when the called party is known to be asleep, it is just to convey to that (mostly special) person, “I am thinking about you”.

 

 

Why APJ Abdul Kalam is human after all

Why APJ Abdul Kalam is human after all

 

Disclaimer :This blog is written by one of the Biggest fan of Dr Abdul Kalam.

 

APJ Abdul Kalam is a patriot par excellence. Dr Kalam earned for the Office of President high dignity with in India, honour outside the country.

 

He created that spark in a generation of young Indians. Undoubtedly, he is the best ( for lack of an adjective which best captures all his attributes) President young India has seen. (Old-timers put him in the same league of Rajendra Prasad and Dr Radhakrishnan).

 

In the various roles that Kalam has played in the last 50 years he has made several sacrifices to serve the Public. But just when he could have done the Supreme Sacrifice he backed out displaying that he is, after all, human.

 

Why do I say so ?

 

A P J Abdul Kalam has not, for a welcome change, been a rubberstamp President. He has applied his mind and in all cases come up with a right decision.( See Pioneer article http://www.cs.princeton.edu/~sudhakar/weblog/cache/2004/may/18/whose-inner-voice-pioneer.txt ) This has made him unpopular with Sonia Gandhi who would like to see him retire ASAP.

 

Bhairon Singh Shekawat is unlikely to act subservient to Sonia Gandhi. Hence, her own nominee is what she will back. As it stands the Prime Minister is a Sonia puppet. One shudders to imagine the state of the nation if both the Prime Minister and President becoming puppets of Sonia Gandhi. In the Electoral College the UPA nominee is likely to win if every one votes as per the party line.

 

If there is an individual with a real chance of inducing cross-voting by his sheer charm, persona, warmth and commitment to the nation, that will have to be Dr. Kalam.

 

As he had been persuaded to consider a second term the uncouth Lalus and Sharad Pawars of this world hurt the respectable gentleman where it hurts him most – badmouthing him.

 

Having served the nation selflessly for a lifetime, Abdul Kalam decided that he deserves a graceful exit ( and rightfully so). He also knows that he is the best bet to counter a Sonia nominee. In the event of a contest, he might win; he could lose too.

 

Dr Kalam would rather retire honorably than be remembered as a man who wanted another term, contested and lost. In this decision Dr Kalam, we see that you are after all human in your desires.

 

A supreme sacrifice would be to throw in your hat in the ring. If you win India wins. If you lose, opportunistic journalists and others like Lalu will speak a few ugly things. ( All Indians know that the truth is very different). But, I am sure you appreciate, it is a small price to pay if we want to have hope of thwarting Sonia.

 

The supreme sacrifice is not that of life. The supreme sacrifice is when one can forego their honour for a much Larger Cause.

 

 

 

 

Show Ration Card, Get a TV home

“Ek aam Hindustani ki zindagi mein, line main khada rahen hi zindagi hain…”

 

.. goes an Airtel ad. It further adds that things have changed and Airtel has changed the scene in the context of KBC.

 

It was circa 1990s again for me the first Sunday of April 2007 when I stood in the queue at the Public Distribution System.

 

The young, the old, the professional, the vela, the man, the woman, the housewife and her sister-in-law, the LIG household, the MIG household and the SEC A household all of them stood in the queue at the local municipal school.

 

I almost thought that the municipal elections were happening but the voter turnout seemed too good to be true. Upon investigation, it was revealed that the Rush was to collect the “free colour TV” which “Dr. Kalignar” led Government of Tamil Nadu was supplying.

 

My first reaction was that of disbelief. There has probably been no record of a Government actually sticking to pre-poll promises and here I could see people carrying home cardboard dabba.

(You must see it to believe it. Blame it on pazahaka dosham –force of habit- the men and women were carrying it the way they would carry pots of water. The analogy does not stop there- The ladies’ queue experienced the same streetfight that occurs when one of the them fills her pot out of turn from the water lorry)

 

Disbelief turned to greed when upon discreet enquiries, I got to know that my family was eligible for the “color TV” as well  and so I hopped onto the queue with a ration card in my hand. Truckload after truckload of cardboard boxes was unloaded into the building. One by one they were distributed to gleeful citizens.

 

The queue in which I stood, truly obedient to Murphy’s law, moved slower than the rest. Some were thankful for the TV, others doubted the quality of the televisions (Looking the gift horse in the mouth) few even wondering if there was any television inside the cardboard.

 

My recent tryst with analysts and analyst reports made do some back of the envelope calculations er, well without an envelope and without numbers.

 

At the end of the exercise i.e. when all households in Tamil Nadu have a television set or when the state becomes bankrupt, whichever is earlier, every citizen will have access to atleast one television. The Numero Uno Tamil television channel, the No.1 by far will extend its coverage, leadership and logical extension advertising rates and revenues.

 

Need I say more? I am hurrying to buy the shares of Sun TV.

 

P.S After waiting for more than 3 hours on a Sunday, the PDS confessed that they had run out of television sets and pleaded with the restive public to be patient till the next week when, they promised, every household will be able to carry home a TV set.

P.S 2 I am as a concession to the political party which will, hopefully, give me a TV which I do not know what to do with am not – piercing the corporate veil of Sun TV, which however has been done elsewhere in this blog.

 

 

Of God and atheists - It happens only in Tamil Nadu

World over, the greatest threat to peace is religion-motivated violence. Be it in the hideous form of terrorism or glorious form of war. It has been Jews versus Christians, Christians versus Muslims, Christians versus Hindus, Hindus versus Muslims.

In such a world of ‘my God is better than your God’ world, lies the province of Tamil Nadu in south India where violence outbreaks between Hindus and atheists.

You read that right. Hindus believers versus (mostly Hindu) atheists.

World over, atheists (born in families of whichever religion) have led a rather unremarkable life. Maybe to break that routine, atheists in Tamil Nadu create a cause and fight for it.

At Srirangam, on the banks of river Cauvery in Tamil Nadu lies the rather venerated temple of Sri Ranganthaswamy. The atheist cult in (Have you heard of an atheist cult, elsewhere in the world) that is the political mainstay in the state decide to provoke the theists by installing the statute of EVR Ramaswamy Naicker, (or Periyar in short) an iconic atheist (In Tamil Nadu, atheism is often confused with rationalism) at the entrance to the temple.

Hindu foot soliders are rightly indignant. However they too succumbed to the temptation of violence. They damaged the pedestal of the statute of a man who once publicly broke idols of Hindu Gods and thereby ‘promoted rationalist thoughts’. Periyar devotees feel challenged. They attack several shrines at different parts of Tamil Nadu so that the atma of Periyar will attain shanti .

And so goes the War in Tamil Nadu. Dharmic (crusade, jehad) for some. Hero-worship (in the garb of rationalism) for others.

Related read:http://thoughtpaisa.blogspot.com/2006/05/labour-leader.html