Cricket Rules !

For Context refer link to http://www.blonnet.com/mentor/2005/06/20/stories/2005062000171000.htm

The staff at the Coffee Pub on GN Chetty Road were busy, Thalai
(because he was the Pub-head) was twirling the sign to “Closed”. Thalai shouted at Anna , “Were you hearing what I was hearing ?”. Anna replied. “Yes, with so much interest that I knocked over a cuppa and am now cleaning it. I think China has always been radical but this time he went too far.” Malli (because she always wore Jasmine flowers in her hair) the Pizza dept. girl declared “Of course not. China was right as usual. Have you not observed the number of people who sit in front of the TV sets for hours together?”
”Malli, Lets speak objectively. The crowds that visit our Pub for Giant screen on match days bring in the footfalls to meet our monthly target. Moreover, we all know how you feel about China” said Anna with a wink. China, because he would finish his drinks too fast for Anna to serve, was not Anna’s favourite customer. “That’s what you think, Anna” said Thalai, who knew that the Regional Manager was worried that the “footfalls were not translating into revenue”. “There are people who buy a cuppa for thirty rupees and stay on for the duration of the match in airconditioned thirty rupees per sq feet per month zone. And the RM won’t allow eviction of the customers.”
“Hey!” said Ice (because her name was Aishwarya, silly) of Pasta dept., “but you don’t dispute the loss of productivity. Did you hear what he said about Calcutta?” “Does Calcutta need a reason to stop working” joined Dada (called so because Ganguly was the only cricketer the Bengali had ever cared about).”We Kolkatans – uttered twang perfect – are possionate about cricket, football, Jyoti Basu and celebrations” said Dada proudly. “You know the entire street near my home in Kolkata celebrated Sourab dada’s 56 against Glamorgan last week.

“China confused issues though” resumed Thalai, not feeling like joining the Sourab celebration club much less resume the Saurav or not debate. If cricket is diverting scarce resources away, what about F1. Formula One causes barrels of oil to go up in smoke if not an unlucky car and its driver. And it isn’t even fair competition. If the world wants to know who is a better driver, give them all the same cars and then decide. One guy drives a better car and gets to win all the time.” Anna joined issue, “Thalai, did you know the amount of scientific and technological improvements the F1 rivalry is kindling. Today’s F1 cars may be on city roads tomorrow.”

“All I care is that an Indian has made it to the elite circuit and that’s drawn more people to ask for ESPN at our pub” spoke Ice for the first time, who evidently did not think much opinion about sports. “Ah! That’s a conspiracy by the Formula managers and MNC to get India onto the F1 net” said Dada , who came up with ingenious conspiracy theories. He continued, “ It is like the ‘Miss World, Miss Universe contests conspiracy’ that MNC cosmetic companies fixed to capture the Indian market.”

This time Thalai felt the urge to respond to Dada, who had begun doing the dishes. “But it works both ways Dada. The Tata group, Bharat Petroleum, Amara Raja batteries – all Indian companies with global ambitions – have hitched onto the Narain Karthikeyan bandwagon. Surely India too will gain from this.”

“Hey! We are digressing..” interrupted Anna. Thalai continued, “ The Indian Cricket team not performing well shouldn’t be linked to productivity or economics. It is sad that BCCI is the sole authority of cricket in India but there is nothing one can do about it” rather resignedly.

Dada added ,delighted, “Wicked rich Monopolist or not Calcutta is the de facto capital of World cricket and Jogmohan Dolmiya its Captain. Do you know that he pulled every favour possible to make Kolkata the ICC headquarters but the government apparently declined to give tax breaks. I wonder if tax breaks are so important. Must ask Wafers madam. She will know. She studies taxation and all.”
“She may even ask her Prof and let me know. I have heard her speak high of him”, added Ice while taking an inventory of the milk powder.

“Please continue Thalai. Why do you say that China is mixing issues?” requested Anna. Thalai resumed, “If performance on the World scale is the criterion, even hockey does not deserve to be the national game; Kabaddi is probably apt (if not Gilli Dhanda)

Malli- who was fiddling with a magazine- finally outgrowing the embarrassment of Anna’s comments, began, “It might be that cricket is not a worldwide game and the Indian team not a world-beating side but to ban the game… is no way to respond… An analogy could be what Wafers madam was telling Muscles about Raju who gave up his CA course after being eligible for the Final examination because he thought that he might not secure a rank. It is like throwing it all away. Cricket, in India, is the natural sport for kids and adults. It is a natural conversation –starter and a natural entertainer. India must play up to its advantage, not abandon the natural game.

“I once read that the caste-conscious India preferred a non-contact sport to contact ones and cricket ,naturally, served that brahmincal requirement” added Ice.
“You are right, Moulli” agreed Dada. “China portrayed a rother pessimistic picture. The Indian subcontinent powers the game’s cash flow and India alone accounts for 70% of all cricket related cash flow. What the BCCI should do is to market the game to other countries. It should be done in such a way that foreign masses should be able to understand the game, you know, the way our customers understand F1 or NBA basketball or the way they track and take sides on the English premier League.

“Why do we presume that Indians are cricket crazy” began Ice. “My home is very close to the Chepauk stadium and the Ranji Trophy final match happening there is into the fourth day and there are only a handful of spectators.”

“That is True”, said Anna. “Domestic cricket is perceived to be dull and boring. Why cannot cricket replicate the Premier Hockey League Model, a la NBA in America. Have regional teams- alright we already have them- add foreign coaches to each team and allow two foreign players – al a English County, rope in models- a la Mandira Bedi- to ‘cheer lead’ during the innings break, make a few changes in the ‘Laws of Cricket’ to allow quicker and more tactical games and then market the Indianised game to the world. I am sure that such innovation will bring in money from all over the world simultaneously livening up domestic cricket.

Thalai who was listening to the discussion while totalling up the cash, spoke, “Actually Anna something called Twenty20 is happening. It is an attempt to make cricket quicker and more exciting. Pity is BCCI has not taken the lead.”

“Of course, my league system presupposes that BCCI or any other Apex body will not Control cricket but only facilitate it by acting as a regulator” said Anna. “Companies or celebrity HNIs should ‘own’ the teams. If the teams are region-based then inherent parochialism amongst Indians will lend the required support” casting a quick glance at Dada who had just finished with the dishes.


Ice asked innocently, What‘s an HNI ? Anna replied shaking his head, “High Networth Individual, stupid! One should think that you had never waited on investment bankers”

Thalai got up taking the bunch of keys and proceeding to switch off the lights. “Let’s hope a Kerry Packer comes up in India to turn cricket on its head.” As an after thought he added, “May the system let it work”.